The Scariest Parts of Sharing My Story

In June, I placed a heavy focus on getting my memoir polished up before submitting it to an editor. For most of the month of July, it will be in her hands and out of mine! That's a scary place to be when you finally allow someone else to read your story and step into your shoes. She will be the first person to read the latest version of the manuscript in full and only the third person ever to read a full version of any draft.

Sharing your story can be TERRIFYING! Will the reader understand your intentions? Will you come off as a "bad guy"? Even after two and a half years of working on my memoir, I still have these concerns sometimes.

And that's totally normal! And actually good!

Maybe you're shaking your head right now but hear me out.

If sharing your story feels scary, that means you've written something that you value, something personal. That's a KEY aspect of a good memoir.

Worried a reader may misconstrue your intentions if part of your writing isn't clear?

That's what a good editor and beta readers (discussed in a previous podcast episode) help you resolve before your book is more widely distributed! There's time to clean up all the messiness in the multiple editing steps before publication. You certainly don't have to have it all figured out at the drafting stage.

What about being seen as a "bad guy"?

I have chosen to include some stories in my memoir that don't paint me in the best light. In some instances I keep secrets and manipulate a situation in my favor. Other times, I've introduced my experience with controversial topics such as abortion and open marriage. There's so much to be judged on and for. But it's an intentional choice I've made in order to present the human side of myself. You get to choose exactly what to include, but even your less than stellar moments serve the beautiful purpose of humanizing your story. Your reader will relate because they don't believe themselves to be perfect either!

Don't get me wrong, these are not reservations I expect any writer to overcome by simply reading a blog post. It takes time to process all of these aspects that hold us back from sharing our stories, and the best way I know to work through them is to start writing.

All the stories seemed less scary to share once I wrote them out. Much like any secret laced in shame, shining a light on it lessens the heaviness, fear, and doubt.

What I'm trying to stay is...just start. Overcoming these and other reservations about sharing your story is all a part of the massive personal growth you will undergo as you begin to write and shape your narrative. Every single podcast guest I've interviewed about writing their memoir spoke about the key ways in which they grew personally through the writing and publication process. And many didn't do it alone.

You're ready to take on this challenge with the knowledge and trust that at the end of this journey you'll have a story you are proud of that will have a profound impact on your readers.

It's a long journey with numerous potential detours. Lucky for you, I've ventured down those numerous detours and can show you how to avoid them. You need a clear core message (a theme that unites a story), and a narrative structure that guides your reader through to the end. Along the way, you'll utilize tools like emotions and metaphors to make your experiences more relatable to your reader, and leave them with key takeaways that make your book one of their favorites to recommend and share.

If you’re ready for support around crafting your core message, creating a cohesive outline, or drafting your memoir into a complete manuscript, check out our latest memoir writing programs.